My heart is so heavy. So overwhelmed. How do I sort through all the emotions that run through a week like this? As I watch parents grieve for their babies, how do I sit here and rock my own? I feel guilty, but only because it took seeing the tears of a father who lost his baby to fully wake me to the gratitude for my own! Why do we let so many moments pass us by...too busy to notice them until they're gone!
As I rock my baby girl, her body melted into mine and me trying to hold her as tight as I can, I sing "Jesus Loves Me." But today the song brings uncontrollable tears to my eyes as I think of the parents in Oklahoma. Could I sing those words today if I were holding my baby's lifeless, crumpled body? With thoughts of them drowning while waiting for me to come get them, could I even say the name Jesus? Horrible thoughts, yes...but reality for so many today!!! "Jesus loves me this I know...." How do I know this? Because He's blessed me so much? Protected me and my family? Spared my little world from the devastation He's allowed in Moore, OK? Does He not love them? What if it had happened here and He took my babies? Could I still sing of His love? Would I?
"Little ones to Him belong...." Do we really believe this? Would there be any part of me that could say these words in such a situation? They are His... I believe this! Oh God, help me truly believe this if you ever take them from me!!! I think of all those parents in Oklahoma, all the parents here around me that have had to let go of their babies for now. Which way would I turn? Anger or faith? Faith that He truly does love me and has the best in store through it all. Those are just words until you have to live it out! Praise God for those parents who have had to live it out and come through still praising His name! That is TRUE faith! Today I'm praying for blessings heaped upon the parents who are trying to figure out how to live in their world that has been changed forever. I pray that they cling to God's Word even when it doesn't make sense to their heart! "...they are weak, but He is strong!"