Wednesday, May 1, 2013

BACK TO THE Lynda Leeson

Once again, I overloaded that big black garbage bag and dragged it outside. Of course I couldn't lift it. Immediate frustration and even irritation took over. I stood there in the driveway in my gown and prayed for help. As always, He answered and the bag was in the dumpster on its way to the street.

But...I felt really crummy about me. Why was I reluctant to ask? Why is it so hard to admit my great need for Him and His strength? If I've learned (or have I merely observed) anything... it's not a "one and done" deal.  

On Tuesday I learned from a CT scan that the dreadful little pearl sized bit of cancer that lives in the pleura of my right lung has decided to grow. Not a good thing. Until this morning I had not been able to identify how I felt about that news. Numbness was the first reaction, then shock. Then the awful ugly truth arrived...I don't want to be "needy." AGAIN!!!

The words to the old hymn sung by Elvis came sweetly and I bowed in repentance and praise:

Without Him I could do nothing 
Without Him I'd surely fail 
Without Him I would be drifting 
Like a ship without a sail 

Without Him I would be dying 
Without Him I'd be enslaved 
Without Him life would be worthless 
But with Jesus thank God I'm saved 

Oh Jesus, oh Jesus 
Do you know Him today 
Please don't turn Him away 
Oh Jesus, my Jesus 
Without Him how lost I would be 
Without Him how lost I would be

My human condition is just plain tacky. I think it's called PRIDE. Praise The Lord that He doesn't leave me with the garbage. He's my glory and the lifter of my head. He's also my Healer. I NEED HIM!!!

Psalm 138:3 (AMP)
In the day when I called, You answered me; and You strengthened me with strength (might and inflexibility to temptation) in my inner self.

Psalm 59:16-17 (AMP)
But I will sing of Your mighty strength and power; yes, I will sing aloud of Your mercy and loving-kindness in the morning; for You have been to me a defense (a fortress and a high tower) and a refuge in the day of my distress. Unto You, O my Strength, I will sing praises; for God is my Defense, my Fortress, and High Tower, the God Who shows me mercy and steadfast love.

Elvis singing Without Him  

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