Wednesday, June 19, 2013


Something strange happened to me the other morning during my prayer time, and since most of you know that I am strange anyway, I thought I would share it with you. As most of you know, I have this disease that leaves me incredibly weak. Well, it was one of those mornings and, brother, was I weak and feeling rather wretched. I was debating with myself whether or not to go to work and actually arguing with the Lord about it (yes, I argue with the Lord, yes I am human and yes, He always wins). Praying and asking for Him to just come on back that day as I really did not have the strength to mess with it any longer. I had all I could just about stand. When all of a sudden, He got my attention about someone I have been praying for regarding their salvation. He reminded me that they were not saved and it was His will that they be saved. It literally caught my breath because (1) I heard and (2) I listened. I immediately repented of my pity party for one and prayed for that lost person. I also learned a valuable lesson.  

During this season of my life, I have been really angry with them. I mean really angry. They have created the perfect storm in our family with the destruction of an F5 tornado. My heart has been in shambles for months. I have been trying to patch up and clean up the mess left behind, all the while, keeping it together on the outside for everyone else. It’s just plain exhausting (remember I did mention I was in a weakened condition).  

What my Heavenly Father showed me that morning was that during this season I had not missed a day of praying for them. And what I found out about myself is that one cannot stay angry at someone when you are praying for them, especially if you are praying that the Lord will bring them to His salvation. It is my heartfelt, earnest prayer. Love the sinner, hate the sin. Now I have prayed for people before, probably not quite like this before, mainly because it has not affected me so personally. I love them and I want them to know the Lord and be in heaven with the rest of us. It grieves my soul to think that they might not be there. That’s when it dawned on me…I had come full circle. When I was able to let go of my anger and earnestly pray for my loved one because I love them and desire to see them saved, there was a shift in my praying for them. Now I have a burning desire for them and an urgency to see them saved that I never had before.  

Do I still struggle? Yes, but I am reminded that it’s not His will that any should perish. And I am praying for His will in their life and my life too.  

II Peter 2:9 – The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise…He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

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