DISAPPOINTMENT by Any Woman

What does one do with disappointment?  I have had a situation in my life for months that has caused me great pain.  It is something I have prayed about, prepared my heart about, and intentionally read scripture that would help my thoughts and emotions to be correct before the Lord. As I anticipated the time set to deal with this thing, I envisioned healing, restoration, and reconciliation as the miracle of all miracles!  I am truly a fairy tale girl, in that I do believe “they lived happily ever after.” And when they don’t, that is my signal to run away. So, this was the big day…and the big miracle of healing, restoration, and reconciliation didn’t happen. Now I am dealing with disappointment. The kind of disappointment that makes your stomach feel like it has a heartbeat. The kind that makes your heart beat fast and hard. My face feels frozen and blank because my heart feels frozen and blank. I do know at some point I will go cry and get it all out.

I am grateful that with all my preparation and with all the time God gave me in the waiting, He has been teaching me hard and fast that His ways are right. His ways are good. His heart for me is perfect. He wants to use this thing to change me to look more like Jesus. After all, how can I be changed if I am not put in situations that bring disappointment and other hard emotions? When the circumstance did not go “and they lived happily ever after,” I did quickly say, “Ok, Lord, now what?  Help my heart to respond with peace and trust.”  That may be the miracle God wanted – my response. 

Oh, there is much I want to say about the thing. Much I want to set right, but it is one of those things that I can’t tell all that I know and if I could I would be hurting other people. So, I keep saying, “God knows the whole story, and only He can change another’s heart.” My responsibility is to be obedient and leave the results to Him. So, I will walk away knowing “she has done all she could.”  I will beg Him for help and His grace to protect me from allowing my disappointment to turn to disillusionment. 

“I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my prayer.” Psalm 17:11

“In Him my heart rejoices, for I trust in His holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon me, O Lord, even as I put my hope in You.” Psalm 33:21-22