Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Daydreaming by Christy Smith

I'm a daydreamer. I dream about what might be...what might have been. About things I wish I could do again...the good times, the times I'd have done it differently. I've learned not to spend too much time regretting because, frankly, it just makes me sad. "Of all the words of mice or men, the saddest are, 'It might have been.'" Kurt Vonnegut

If I had the ability to relive moments in time, to relive days that seem to stick out in my mind as particularly special ones, it seems those days aren't really the "special" ones at all. The weddings, the births, the birthdays...they've been wonderful no doubt. But there are other days that I'd love to have again. Summer days with my babies running around in swim suits playing in the waterhose. Chilly days at the beginning of spring spent digging up daffodils at the farm and then roasting hot dogs and marshmallows. Sunday afternoons at my parents' eating lunch and spending time with family and friends. You see, the most important days aren't the ones spent celebrating special occasions (although those are memorable). The days you'd do over are the ones where you were fully there. The days where everything seemed right and you truly remember the details and the feeling of total satisfaction and happiness. Do you remember a day like that? We have the opportunity to have those kinds of days every morning we wake up. Instead of rushing out the door in a chaos of activity preparing for the day, we have the chance to actually sit down with our kids and eat breakfast. The day may come when the only chance we have to share a meal with them is when they come to visit with their own families. And even though I know I will cherish the sight of my babies having babies of their own, right now I want to cherish the fact that they are still MY BABIES. They still need me to kiss their boo-boo's and cut the crust off their sandwiches and buckle them up because they can't. One day they will need me in different ways...watch their kids for them, give them advice, loan them money...the big needs. Today I'll cherish their "little" needs because they are things I can do. And because I can do them, my kids think I can do anything. They think I'm superwoman. I will cherish their innocence for as long as possible. I will cherish the small wonders of every normal, boring day because those will be the days I'd travel back to if I could. 

We all have them. We all have very special, very boring lives. We get some big, extraordinary days along the way. But the most special days end up being the ones we didn't plan, the days that seem to fall into place. And it has nothing to do with the activities we had planned. It had everything to do with us and where our hearts and minds were that day. We were fully there, fully aware, and fully thankful for the overwhelming blessings. Maybe we should stop daydreaming and just start living. 

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