Even When by Christie Smith

Elisabeth Elliot wrote,  “Faith is not an instinct. It certainly is not a feeling – feelings don’t help much when you’re in the lions’ den or hanging on a wooden Cross. Faith is not inferred from the happy way things work. It is an act of will, a choice, based on the unbreakable Word of a God who cannot lie, and who showed us what love and obedience and sacrifice mean, in the person of Jesus Christ.” 

I spent the weekend watching a family who is in the "lions' den" so to speak. They buried a son when everything inside of us says it is not the natural order of things. She buried a brother, her only sibling. They buried a parent while they were still children. She buried a husband before they could grow old together...before they could watch their children have children...before they could finish their dreams. Friends mourned with memories and with regret over time not taken that they'll never have again. A congregation is left without their leader. 

Why him? Why now? Why when he had such a passion for life and for people and for God? Why when it seemed that he was doing it right and accomplishing so much for the Lord?

So many questions left unanswered. 

As Christians, as people who believe in the Creator of the universe, shouldn't we have the answers? 

“Faith does not eliminate questions. But faith knows where to take them” (A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael).

So, the question is not "why," but "where" do we go for answers? "Who" do we turn to? 

“I do know that waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God." (Elisabeth Elliot, Passion and Purity).

Our faith is not found in knowing all the answers, but in knowing WHO holds the answers. Our LIFE is not found in this world, but in the world to come. Our peace does not lie in our lives being perfect, but in the TRUTH of knowing everything works together perfectly for those of us who are in Christ Jesus. 

Even when things don't make sense. 
Even when people die too soon.
Even when the daughter's cure never comes or the son doesn't survive the car wreck or the mom stops breathing or the daddy's heart just stops beating. 

Even when, even then. And even here, in my own life, when I don’t suffer well, and I don’t give thanks, and I don’t pray once during the long day. Even then. God is still God. His love is still unconditional. And His will is still perfect. Even when I don't like it or understand it...even then.