Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of
God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you,
corrupting many. Hebrews 12:15
Watch out that no poisonous root
of bitterness grows up in you. I actually know a lot about bitterness. I grew up in a house full of it. It’s a
root that grows deep in my family tree. I’ve seen the scars left behind by bitterness and the hate
too. It’s not pretty, and it’s not easy to leave behind. But we do have a choice, and I choose
to leave it at the Cross. It is a
battle I still struggle with and will always struggle with because it is my
heritage.
I decided to look up the word bitterness in Strong’s Concordance, and
it means poison. And that is exactly what it is. It is poison to the one who is bitter, and it poisons any
relationship they try to establish. The only antidote for poison/bitterness is forgiveness…
Forgiveness frees. Forgiveness heals. Holding
unforgiveness in one’s heart holds her captive to the people who offended. Chuck Swindoll calls them “the
torturers.” I like that description. Because that’s what they do; they torture
our minds, our souls, and our spirits. We become helpless in their brutal and relentless assault and captive to
their torture. And most often,
they don’t even know they are doing it. Can you tell I’ve been there?
But, forgiveness can release us from the torturers’ chains. Forgiveness can heal the gaping wounds
left by loved ones who you would not think could hurt you like that. It’s almost always loved ones. It’s
always the people you would never expect to hurt or “torture” you. It’s always people you love and trust,
always. And that makes it harder
to forgive them.
But remember, God’s grace is sufficient; it’s enough. He gives us that
grace, enough grace, to forgive them. Only He can understand that. Only He can give us the ability to forgive.
He becomes the antidote to the poison. He is our only
hope when it comes to forgiveness; it cannot be done on our own. I know I have tried and failed many
times. It’s not until I
finally give that person over to the Lord completely - mentally, physically, and
spiritually - can I be free from the bitterness. All of it! Sometimes it
is a continual battle, as you well know. That is how the enemy works. He is always throwing it up in our
minds, torturing us the same way they do, reminding, reliving, and
relentless.
First Peter 5:7 comes to mind, “Cast all your cares/anxiety on Him,
because He cares for you.” Verse 6 goes on to say, “Be self-controlled and
alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for
someone to devour.” And he does it
very well. Be ready, stand guard,
watch out for him.
Just so you know, I am speaking to myself as I write this. Sometimes I feel as though the enemy pursues
me mentally and spiritually trying to keep that root well-watered and fed. Forgiving those who wrong me, or even
worse, wrong my loved ones can be a daily struggle, if I allow it. But as
I told my husband on the day I married him, I choose from this day forward to
be different. I will not bring my
heritage with me into our marriage. And I can honestly say I have done that. Now, has it been easy? Has the enemy tricked me into thinking
others don’t offend me and “hurt my feelings,” even my loved ones? Yes, but after time spent with my
Father, He is the one who heals and comforts me. Remember, He is the only one
who truly understands forgiveness. He is the one I turn to, first asking Him to
forgive me, then seeking the forgiveness of others.
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