Discipline Today - Vicki Taylor

I was just wondering what ever happened to good old biblical discipline for children.  You know the verse in Proverbs that says, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.”  My how times have changed since my boys have grown up. 

I was reading the paper this morning and well known pediatrician T. Berry Brazelton stated that you need to choose your battles when dealing with newly assertive 2 and 3 year olds.  OK, I thought that’s a good idea.  I can remember my husband telling me that when my boys were teenagers and I wanted them to stay close to home when they were ready to start cutting the apron strings. 

Brazelton stated that tantrums are important to children, it helps them to make their own choices.  Example, “I want the orange shirt, not the red one.” This is why you, the parent, need to pick your battles.  He also stated not to be surprised if your child “melts down” when you say no.  This is the new term for temper tantrum.  This is what children do today, they have “melt downs.”  My generation has never heard of a melt down.  We pulled out a belt or a wooden spoon and applied it where God intended it to be used.  Then we gave the child some “space” so they could consider what they were punished for and followed up with love and affirmation. 

When my boys were in the youth department, they went on a church ski trip.  The youth pastor at the time took his family with him on the bus ride to the ski resort.  When they returned home, they told my husband and I how horrible the children of the youth pastor were and how undisciplined they were.  In their opinion, they ruined the trip for everyone on the bus.  All because the parents did not discipline them but allowed them to express themselves with tantrums and meld downs.  After a long discussion of the trip and their own upbringing, both boys looked at us and actually “thanked” us for the discipline they received growing up. Because they saw first hand how important it was to grow up polite and mannerly with boundaries. We were blown away!  Now, don’t get me wrong, my boys were far from perfect, very far!!!  But looking back, we loved them and nurtured them in the love of the Lord by following the guidelines in the Word, not by some secular doctor who believes tantrums are important.